When Insults Were Civil, Most Times.

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I
admire." -- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries
with great pleasure."- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader
to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't
it." -- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying
I approved of it." -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his
friends." -- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring
a friend... If you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill... followed by
Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if
there is one."

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his
creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's
nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any
address on it?" -- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the
stork." -- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a dinner party,
"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your
coffee!" Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband, I would drink
it!"